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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30025647">Coming Up For Air</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/greygerbil/pseuds/greygerbil'>greygerbil</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mass Effect: Andromeda</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Breathplay, Developing Relationship, Enemies With Benefits, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Rough Sex, Undernegotiated D/s</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:20:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,620</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30025647</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/greygerbil/pseuds/greygerbil</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Evfra and Akksul did not choose to work together, but they make the most of it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akksul/Evfra de Tershaav</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Spectre Requisitions 2021</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Coming Up For Air</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/tentacledicks/gifts">tentacledicks</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When they ended up like this, they were on the ground in one of their offices, or leaning over the balustrades at the empty shooting range, or in the upper observation room that looked out across Aya, giving them a view on the burning lava veins of the planet reaching into the jungle as they grabbed and bit at each other and tried to hold the other down. Rarely, they were even in a bed, but not tonight.</p><p>They fought like animals for the top spot, not so much out of honest inclination, but pride. Evfra could easily best him at hand-to-hand combat, but Akksul didn’t have as many old injuries and he was trickier, better at distraction and subterfuge and quick touches that threw off Evfra’s focus.</p><p>The first time they had fucked, they had fought for an hour beforehand, shouting at each other by the end. Akksul was sure that if they had not done this, they would have gotten in a brawl instead. Perhaps this still qualified as one.</p><p>The Moshae had wanted Akksul to help out the Resistance, no doubt fearing what would become of Akksul if he was left to his own devices, his mind running idle. So here he was, evaluating artefacts taken by Resistance soldiers from the ruins that emerged out of the melting ice on Voeld and the retreating jungle on Havarl because, Akksul was sure, Evfra felt guilty that he’d let the Moshae get captured by the kett and didn’t dare go against her demands.</p><p>With neither of them wanting Akksul to be here, they’d avoided each other at the start, but people who went out and started armies to get their way did not have it in their nature to keep their mouths shut for too long. It was the lack of anything to lose as well, Akksul suspected. They both knew Evfra would not send Akksul away if he did not try to undermine the Resistance because it would have spelled trouble with the Moshae, so why should Akksul not mouth off? After all, he had not formed the Roekaar without reason. They both also knew Akksul would not go against the Moshae, his last advocate, and so Evfra needn’t hold back his true opinion, either. In a city of politicians where this man, so little bent to diplomacy, had to practice so much of it, Akksul could see the appeal.</p><p>It should have culminated in blows, but Akksul was not truly confused how they had ended up rutting against each other on the metal floor instead. They were dangerously open with each other in their angry bluntness and that was mirrored in their actions. Akksul sincerely doubted Evfra let anyone else grab him by the back of the neck and press his forehead against the floor tiles while he fucked him; nor would Akksul allow anyone else to overpower him and so thoroughly enjoy the experience, even while he already plotted his revenge.</p><p>Of course, for Akksul, there was a secondary reason he had picked him which he would not tell Evfra about: Evfra could sense when Akksul’s growls were for show and when it was panic pushing through, and he kept his steady hands on Akksul when he noticed that Akksul was lost in memories, which always brought Akksul back to the presence. Should Evfra have his own private thoughts on the matter, too, Akksul had not been able to glean them yet. If he had to guess, he’d say that Evfra enjoyed the chance to not have to be respectable because he believed Akksul had no respect for him, anyway, which used to be true.</p><p>He’d pinned Evfra this time. His great exertion in their fight tonight had been fuelled by the thought of an experiment he wanted to conduct. The idea had come to him, unbidden but welcome, when, last week, Akksul had pressed his arm up against Evfra’s throat in a half-hearted struggle, sullen rather than unhappy that he had been put on his back once more. Holding on to Evfra’s manhood with the other hand, he’d felt it twitch as Evfra gasped for air. While Akksul had not been in a position to do much with it in the moment, he had stored the observation away for further examination.</p><p>He pressed his hand down just where Evfra’s folds started to come together, though not leaning on him with his whole weight. He only wanted to regulate rather than cut off the air flow completely, did not want to force Evfra to throw him off or even harm Evfra. He just wanted to know how far he’d let him go.</p><p>Evfra’s breath was short, strained, and he was hard and leaking precome as Akksul rocked into him. His hand gripped Akksul’s arm tightly, but he did not try to pull it away from his throat. Whenever Evfra overpowered him, Akksul admired, despite himself, the strength and skill, the way Evfra could manhandle and throw him around. For Evfra, it didn’t seem to be the idea that Akksul could beat him in a fair fight that drew him in, but that he could make Evfra want and do things he shouldn’t have without even having to force his hand. Akksul had always been good at that and it amused him sometimes how much this talent, which Evfra had come to appreciate under these circumstances, used to be a thorn in Evfra’s side when Akksul had not used it to play games in bed, but had commanded armies through it.</p><p>His thrusts were rough, though they only had spit for lube. He knew Evfra would probably have to grab medigel afterwards if he wanted to sit properly, but Evfra had yet to complain. Evfra’s eyes fluttered shut for a moment and Akksul eased the pressure of his thumb, dug it into the thick, soft flesh of his folds instead, adrenaline pounding through him. Evfra gave him a toothy smile. It was mockery, wordless, a challenge, an offer that Akksul could play harder.</p><p>Akksul took Evfra’s cock in hand and firmly pressed the heel of his palm against his throat for just a moment. Evfra came over his fingers before Akksul had finished one stroke.</p><p>He let go off him and grabbed his hips, laid into him. Evfra’s deep breaths filled the room and his hand still clawed Akksul’s arm. Akksul never needed long to come like this.</p><p>Akksul was still tumbling down from the heady height of power when Evfra’s persocomm made a beeping sound. Evfra rustled through the folds of the rofjinn hanging sideways across his chest and the sleeve Akksul had pushed up while biting at his arm. The marks looked especially good on Evra’s blue skin, already close to the colour of the blood running underneath, and fully matching it where Akksul’s teeth had left the indents.</p><p>“Yes?” Evfra asked curtly after he had rerouted the call into his communicator, his voice rough.</p><p>Akksul made to pull out of him, but Evfra, his breath hitching, grabbed him by the elbow, sending him a warning glance. Akksul’s brows shot up, but he held still.</p><p>“I’m fine,” Evfra told the person at the end of the line, a sourly expression crossing his face. “Tell them to rest and have the ship looked at. The shields shouldn’t have failed from a few asteroids. I’ll make a new guard roster tonight.”</p><p>He shut off the communication with a flick at his wrist as he looked up at Akksul.</p><p>“Don’t move your cock inside me while I’m talking to other people,” he ordered.</p><p>“This is really less distracting to you?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Akksul gave a smile, a rarity these days, though Evfra teased it out more than others. “I should test that during a longer conversation.”</p><p>“I think you’ve tested your boundaries enough.”</p><p>Evfra pushed himself away from Akksul as he spoke while Akksul listened closely to the tone of his voice. There was annoyance there, but if he had to take a guess by the frown on Evfra’s face, which was turned to glance out of the window, he was only angry with himself.</p><p>He should be. Evfra really shouldn’t have let Akksul at his throat, or inside his body. Stars, he probably shouldn’t have let him into the Resistance headquarters.</p><p>On the other hand, so far Akksul had not proven his decisions wrong.</p><p>-</p><p>Akksul had often wondered why he hadn’t made use of the chances Evfra had given him. Maybe he could have even killed him when Evfra had his back turned in a careless moment – but what would he have gained? Evfra was far from perfect, but without his leadership, the angara would be left even more defenceless facing the aliens infesting their galaxy. Much like trying to destroy the Forge, it would have been a self-destructive gesture, going against what Akksul really wanted in the end; and aside from Evfra’s practical use, just like blowing up the Forge, killing him would have ended in the annihilation of something that fascinated Akksul.</p><p>On top of that, Evfra also had given him a modicum of structure that playing with artefacts alone would not have. Hostile as their conversations often were, rough as they treated each other, Akksul could always be sure to find Evfra at the Resistance headquarters, ready for a fight, and sometimes just to talk when they were both too tired to snipe. For a mind that was still fraying at the edges like Akksul’s and had been actively falling into pieces when he’d been first brought here, Evfra had been something to cling to and though he would not tell him, some part of him was grateful for that. After all, Akksul was too arrogant to give in to the role of madman, even if a part of him was ready to break completely and let all his fury and sadness and disappointment rip him apart, turn into a roving mercenary who took every fight he could get, even against his own if need be, spilling all the blood he could. Evfra’s needling, poking, talking, attention had kept his focus away from such thoughts until Akksul had gripped on to the edge of the cliff again and pulled himself away from the deepest abyss.</p><p>While Akksul had no peace, he had someone to rely on. There were worse things in the world, he considered, laying in bed next to Evfra one evening, the two of them quietly working on their datapads next to each other. It was almost comfortable.</p><p>Such things could never last.</p><p>“I got a message for you this morning,” Evfra said into the quiet.</p><p>“I imagine you get a lot of messages for and about me.”</p><p>It had not escaped people that Akksul worked for the Resistance now. Some still supported what he had done in silence, but others were vocal about their disdain for him and questioned Evfra’s decision to house him loudly. To Evfra’s credit, he had never blamed Akksul for the criticisms. It had been Evfra’s decision to let him come, after all.</p><p>Evfra snorted, but his finger hovered over the screen of the datapad, hesitant. “Not one of those.” He glanced sideways at Akksul. “It’s from someone claiming to be one of your mothers. Maajit Dver?”</p><p>Akksul froze only briefly, managed to make himself move so he wouldn’t be obvious.</p><p>“I should have guessed she would reach out to someone here,” he answered. “Maajit was always the most stubborn of my mothers. The only one brave enough to write directly to you, too.”</p><p>“You know she wants to talk to you?”</p><p>“I still have my old messenger accounts. She writes to me as well.”</p><p>After he had returned from captivity, the Moshae had answered a few messages from his mothers in his stead, but even long before he’d realised how far his own feverish terror and anger had driven him, perhaps as soon as when he’d stumbled out of the perimeter of the camp, he’d known he could not simply return to his family. He’d still read what they wrote, though. He hadn’t in a while – not since he had started to amass the Roekaar.</p><p>With a quiet breath, he shielded himself for the accusations from Evfra, but he just turned back to his datapad.</p><p>“I see,” he said.</p><p><i>Of course.</i> Evfra never wasted words. He knew Akksul didn’t need to be told that his mother missed him after she had just reached out to the leader of the Resistance for his sake. Akksul had made a decision and though he doubted Evfra agreed with it, he did not try to force his opinion on Akksul unasked in such a private matter. However, his silence was somehow more provocative than the Moshae’s gentle reminders about his family’s feelings had ever been.</p><p>“Too much has happened.”</p><p>His family would want a good explanation, and they would want their son, brother, cousin back. The first one would force Akksul to dig so deep it would tear open wounds that had barely closed yet; the second he could plain not give them.</p><p>“So you are too proud to face them?” Evfra asked, deliberately brash.</p><p>Akksul almost bared his teeth at him, but bit his tongue before he spoke.</p><p>“What would you say if I was one of your relatives returning?” he answered, to prove a point, maybe because he wanted to know.</p><p>Evfra looked back at the datapad. He was silent for so long that Akksul wondered if he was ignoring him.</p><p>“I had children. One daughter  was an adult when she was taken. We adopted her when she was half-grown after her parents were killed,” Evfra said, finally. “Even if she is a kett now, I would still want to see her again. Any of them, whether my kids or not.”</p><p>“That’s not a good comparison. If she were a kett, the change in her would not be her fault,” Akksul answered. He could not think himself so weak-minded that his decline had been inevitable. <i>Perhaps that’s the pride he accuses me of.</i></p><p>He knew he should have had a better answer to the admission, too, that Evfra had allowed him a brief glance at some part of him he did not often reveal. However, his own pain was too strong and if nothing else, he’d at least matched Evfra in showing too much.</p><p>Evfra regarded him for a moment.</p><p>“There is no point in mauling each other for how we react to pain. We’re too beleaguered a people to have that luxury. Why do you think I’m allowing your Roekaar back instead of throwing them out to Kadara? They’ve already turned on me once, you think I really convinced myself none of them will do it again? Yet, they deserve one more chance.”</p><p>Akksul was not too stupid to find himself in that comment. Something in his chest twisted at the thought. There was a strange idea in there: forgiveness. Not from someone like his mothers, who were in some way obligated to love him beyond reason, either.</p><p>They sat in silence for another moment. Wordlessly, Akksul put his datapad to the side and grabbed Evfra’s wrist, pressing his thumb into the soft flesh. It was a tepid attempt at seduction, not worthy of the name, but having watched Evfra over the last month, how evasive he got whenever he had to talk about something personal, he’d been right to guess that he would lean into it.</p><p>Evfra took advantage of Akksul’s moment of cautious hesitation to push him into the bed. Sex was only a distraction, but Akksul had his arms locked around Evfra’s back by the end and was holding on to him tightly.</p><p>-</p><p>The footsteps of the late shift on their way home ambled past his door as Akksul pored over a small shard, his table bathed in cold neon light. He’d been trying to tease out its secrets for a while now, staring at a collection of screens as he did so. Though no angaran scientist yet understood the Jardaan code, you got a feel for their pattern, a sense of their practices if you did this for long enough, saw the shadow of a people there. He’d let himself get lost in the well-known roads for the day, focusing on this small detail instead of grabbing on to the much greater secrets waiting stacked all around him, an abundance of new information released by their healing planets. It was not something he would have done before the kett had taken him, not even before he had burned himself out like a bulb with the Roekaar, though his attention hadn’t been on artefacts then. His studies with the Moshae had been passionate and careful, but not long-lasting or intricate, as his brilliance allowed him to jump from one topic to the next without his results being cursory. Yet, you inevitably missed things and not paying heed to the subtleties was the trap Akksul had stumbled into as he’d allowed himself to gloss over his own deteriorating mental state, only clinging to the highs.</p><p>“Getting anywhere?” Evfra asked.</p><p>Akksul jumped in his chair. Evfra stood in the door, which Akksul hadn’t even heard opening. He’d unfolded his rofjinn, as he usually did at night because the cavernous front rooms grew cold when the sun set, and it hung like a cape down to his thighs.</p><p>“Unfortunately, our technological understanding of the Jardaan is not as advanced as that of your new <i>friends</i>.”</p><p>Evfra wrinkled his nose, leaning against the doorframe.</p><p>“Not theirs,” he corrected, “that of their AI. Who knows when that will become a problem?”</p><p><i>When, not if.</i> Akksul had quite come to like Evfra’s realistic pessimism. The corner of his mouth twitched.</p><p>“If it does, we will employ you. You’ve kept the other one from deleting itself.”</p><p>Evfra took a swig of his bottle, which Akksul knew held only water. The look on Evfra’s face said he wished it were something else.</p><p>“So far,” he muttered. “You’re an archaeologist. Why have I not made that thing your problem yet?”</p><p>“Because you don’t want an unstable AI on my side.”</p><p>Akksul said it like a joke, but they both knew it was the truth.</p><p>“Right,” Evfra said.</p><p>He pushed away from the wall and let the door slide shut, sat down on the chair that stood at the wall – not in front of Akksul’s work table, since he had no visitors, except of course for Evfra.</p><p>“What is this?” Evfra asked.</p><p>That, too, was rote. In the dead hours of night or the sweltering quiet of afternoons, Evfra would sit and listen to Akksul speak about some piece of ancient technology that he had no conception of, likely no real interest in. Maybe he just wanted to hear anything but military chatter, but he didn’t completely switch off during these lectures and so Akksul liked giving them because he had always loved talking about things he was knowledgeable about and even Evfra had to admit his superiority here. It was also a good chance to start squabbling about some detail or snide remark Akksul placed on purpose and end up fucking on the desk between pieces of ancient technology.</p><p>Akksul had noticed over time that there didn’t seem to be anyone else Evfra sought out in the same way. He liked that idea.</p><p>It was tempting to fall back into their usual pattern, but a different topic had been working in his mind today, underneath the numbers. Akksul was silent, looking at the lines of code as he deliberated. He rarely sought anyone’s input, but he wanted Evfra’s now. The novelty of that silenced his fear for a moment.</p><p>“I don’t know yet,” he said vaguely and turned from the screen. “I wasn’t focused.”</p><p>Evfra cocked his head, a silent prompt.</p><p>“My mother,” he said. “I should write to her before she tries to barge her way in here.”</p><p>“I would appreciate that,” Evfra said flatly.</p><p>Akksul tapped his fingers against the surface of the table. “What would you have liked to hear from someone who’d returned?”</p><p>“Anything,” Evfra said without hesitation.</p><p>“That’s unhelpful,” Akksul told him.</p><p><i>It cannot be that easy.</i> He did not deserve for it to be that easy.</p><p>“It’s the truth,” Evfra answered with a shrug. “You could tell her you’re holding on for now, that she doesn’t have to worry, and that she can still write to you. I don’t know your family, of course. I can guess not all of them will talk to you again, but I’d wager all want to know you’re alright, and some will understand you wanted to protect them.” He raised his brows. “Considering the numbers your Roekaar pulled, a few will be on your side.”</p><p>Despite the sardonic remark, perhaps because of it, so defensively tacked at the end, Akksul thought in that moment that Evfra was in the group that understood – since he understood Akksul a lot better than most in many things. Akksul would have hated that idea half a year ago. What did he have in common with this coarse, stubborn soldier? It did not feel like an insult now.</p><p>“I might do that,” he said.</p><p>Evfra nodded his head, sipped from his bottle again. He’d accused Akksul of pushing his boundaries, but as Akksul pulled up his messenger to compose the fateful yet deceptively simple words, Akksul realised that Evfra had done the same to him, in a much slower, less obvious way.</p><p>Had Evfra tried? Had it just happened? Both were interesting and infuriating to consider and both gave Akksul something to look forward to figuring out, patiently and in detail, just like he’d learned to do.</p>
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